11:24:00 AM

I wasn't a difficult kid. Sure I was easily bored (well hello, I'm a Gemini!), and growing up I never seemed to manage to hold any interest towards something long enough to master it, but I know I wasn't a difficult kid. 

I coasted through my adolescent, through my personal struggles with the help of family and friends (some of them I still hold dear until today). Sure I had problems, but those problems were never too difficult, never too severe for me to want to distract myself from them to the point of the distractions becoming too dangerous. I guess I had it easy. I guess I was lucky.

Maybe my somewhat "boring" upbringing is the reason why it is very hard for me to understand the concept of dying from drug overdose, you know, never having the experience, I will never understand why drugs is so important for the users, and I will never be able to fathom how difficult it is to get pass the withdrawal symptoms and beat the addiction once you're hooked... And this is why I'm writing this today...

Sunday, July 14th 2013, was a good day for hubby was about to be discharged from the hospital (read here for the full story). I remember I was happily chatting with one of the nurses when I casually stumbled onto my cousin's BBM status: "RIP Cory Monteith". I started shaking (yes, very odd, my hands were trembling), I couldn't believe what I read... I remember wishing very hard that it was just some stupid pranks stupid people pull...

I quickly browsed Twitter and stumbled onto Perez Hilton's tweet. It confirmed it. Cory Monteith did die. And the speculations around his death: drug overdose. I know celebrities die from drug overdose, but someone like Cory, well, someone like him shouldn't! 

Okay, saying “someone like him” is very absurd of me because I don’t know him personally, I don’t know his story (except the ones I read from the internet), but I honestly cannot fathom how someone who seemed so fit, happy, and healthy (hey, anyone who follows Glee will second my statement) could succumb to drugs and eventually died because of it. Cory was an amazing actor, Finn is my ideal gentleman, and he portrayed him perfectly. His voice is one of my favorite sounds to listen to. As far as I'm concerned, he had no business passing away that young. And I'm pissed.

I'm pissed because he was that good of an actor so that nobody in his circle would pick up on the signs of him relapsing. I'm pissed because he let drugs be a huge part of more than half of his life when he was such a major talented person. I'm pissed because he couldn't see how much he meant to so many people, to so many Gleeks around the world. I'm pissed because he didn't know how much he was (and is until today!) loved.

I'm sure Cory Monteith was a good person. Everyone around him is making sure that this is how he is remembered. And I will remember him as such and more. I will remember him how I know best: as the quirky quarterback with kickass voice whom I always looked forward to watch every Tuesday on Starworld. But most of all I will remember him as an example of how things are NEVER how they seem. And people's struggles are never skin deep... 

Ryan Murphy twitpic this teaser of Glee: The Cory Monteith tribute episode the a few days ago
and I'm reminded to post this entry. I actually drafted this a few days after Cory's untimely death, but I couldn't bring myself to finish it (because then his death would be so final to me - I know I'm weird, don't judge me).

So here I am, posting this right after the tribute episode aired in the USA. It will be a while until Starworld airs it in Asia, I believe. But until then Mr. Monteith... Thank you for the songs and the Glee memories. You are missed.

The hardest word to say is indeed "goodbye"...


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