#Undecided's (Hectic) Week: 23 June 2013 to 29 June 2013

5:10:00 PM

Hi Guys, #Undecided again here.

How are you guys doing? Hopefully much better than me right now as I am nursing a major headache thanks to sleep deprivation, but more on that later.

A little warning that this post is super wordy okay? I guess I'm too tired to even bother to post lots of photos...

As promised, here's what happened to me last week.

So last Sunday as usual hubby and I planned on spending it with our dogs. Texted Miss Jenny and she asked us to come a bit later because she wanted to work with Kalista first before hubby came and started distracting her (the dog, not the trainer LOL).

So I let hubby slept in a bit and went to shower. When I was brushing my teeth, his phone rang. 

It was his mom. Telling him that his grandpa passed away.

It was then - for the first time since we started dating - I saw my hubby cried. *sob*

So yeah, we had to go back to his hometown (Solo, West Java), and I am normally a swift packer, but that day my brain was like stuck. Hubby's mom instructed us to bring whites, blacks and one red top and while browsing my wardrobe I realized that I had no decent white and red tops (can't wear scandalous sheer and lacy top to a wake, right...). So I was pacing here and there trying to get my luggage ready. Packing for hubby was proven more difficult because I have a strict policy of not letting him buy white t-shirts or shirts because he would eventually getting them so dirty I would hate that. 

Then after around 30 mins I gave up and BBMed G asking for her help to buy clothes for us. Screw it lah! *sigh* G and her hubby eventually went back to Solo with us but at that time they were in some mall with friends, but then she was informed by her mother in law that we didn't need to bring anything because we were going to be given "uniforms" anyways... So then we were all set.

Btw at some point I was like given up on packing and decided to watch my The Big Bang Theory dvd instead, and then hubby finished up for me. Thinking back now, I feel so lucky to have him around *sappy mode on - sorry yah LOL*

Anyway, luggage packed. We went ahead to buy lunch (well it was actually for breakfast but it was then 2 pm or something LOL), and decided to eat at the kennel with Miss Jenny and Arief (the kennel boy). Had lunch there and then hung out some with the dogs (I personally needed the distraction - honestly I had never been in this situation my whole life so I really didn't know what to do and #Pink wasn't available LOL). Then 3.15pm we were off to pick G and her hubby up. 

And then off we went to Solo.

Arrived in Sragen (hubby's parents live in this town - a smaller town before Solo) at 11pm something and hubby decided to spend the night there (it was very late and nobody would be in the morgue to help us see grandpa anyway). Chatted until around 2am. And (had to) wake up at 7am something, I barely myself the whole Monday (had to drink lots of coffee because I kept having headache). But then because the cremation would only be held on Thursday, and since G and I couldn't really take a week off we decided to go back to Surabaya that day. Took a train and arrived around 9.40pm.

The next morning (Tuesday) I went to work and then spent the night in the factory. That was probably the longest sleep I had all week. 

Worked half day on Wednesday and then went straight to Surabaya to catch a 3.45pm train to Solo. Arrived at 7.40pm, we went straight to our hotel to shower (and to wash my bangs because it was looking ridiculously oily and flat *sigh*).

Lucky for me I got to wash my bags because apparently a photo session took place LOL. Here are some I have on my Blackberry.
The grandkids (yes, I stood behind Wilson for a reason. I needed someone to cover my ginormous tummy LOL).

The kids (hubby's mother is the one of the far left)

Oh yeah I forgot to mention, we had to get back on Wednesday because for Chinese it's mandatory that the whole family get together on the last night before the cremation (or burial) because that's like the last time others get to come and pay respect. People here call it "malam kembang" which translates to "flower night" (?!?!) but I have no idea what they call it that, really... I also got to stand next to the coffin and bow back when people went forward to pray (yes, a first for me). 

Saw Rendy (my fave designer) and got to catch up a bit (I apparently missed him a lot LOL) and then he said he would drop by at the hotel to fix my (bday pressie) dress but then it was already around 11.30pm when we headed back so I had to take a rain check. He insisted that he would go to the hotel at 5.30am the next day and I told him he could knock as hard as he could I would just ignore him LOL (yes, he's mental that one) and decided that I would go to his place before heading back to Surabaya.

Thursday came and it was the cremation day - the day when all of us cried the most *sigh*. We had to assemble at 6am but that hubby and I weren't having it, so we decided to just miss the morning mass (yes, we're so going to hell LOL) and went to get proper breakfast - my ultimate fave meal which is a must whenever I visit. Behold - Mie Pinangsia:
If I could pick one meal I could have for the rest of my life, it would be this one. I even said jokingly (or am I?!) to hubby that I would marry the aunty's son just so that I would have endless supply of this delicious noodle LOL.

We went straight to the memorial home after breakfast and apparently hubby and I were the last ones to do pai kui which by then I had no idea what it meant - let alone how to do it! We waited until the mass was over and then we were rushed forward to do it. And I was like WTF what was I supposed to do, damn it!! Stood like an idiot next to hubby and then decided to just move aside while he was doing his thing (honestly I have no idea how to explain it but he was bowing down 9 times or something). Got scolded by hubby because I didn't do it and then was forced *sobbing hysterically* to go do the pai kui by myself!!!! I hated hubby at that moment, but since *ahem* I'm such a good wife, I obliged *sigh*.

Oh one important note for you guys whom (just like me) have no clue as to what to do in situation like this (I actually got this from #Pink): remember that when the coffin is being carried off to the hearse, avert your eyes until it's inside the vehicle. Also when you're going home from the cremation/funeral, do not look back! Just look forward until you're out of the premises. According to #Pink: you don't want the ghosts at the cemetery to be following you home, right!? So don't!!

So during the cremation service we had to stand next to the coffin and get this: the pastor was sobbing during his sermon *teary eyed* and I tried my best to look away, to be in my happy place, to stand a good distance from the cryers, BUT then I had to look at hubby and he was crying!! Hell, that did it and I couldn't stop myself. Sigh. Tried consoling him but that didn't help my case so I'm pretty sure I looked like hell on the photos *sigh*.

Oh speaking of the photos, I have a Q. Should we like smile for the photog whenever we're lined up for photos? I mean we're supposed to be sad, right? So, no smile? Smile? Help!!

Moving on!!

After the service, the coffin was moved into inside the cremation chamber (first hubby went ahead and made sure that the coffin is super straight inside - it was quite important for him but I forgot to ask why LOL) and we had to line up to pay our final respect. That was when I found out that grandpa had a foster son!! And (both G and I agreed that) he's handsome!! Okay, this is so out of context, but I just had to say it LOL. 

Finally we all joined hands and hubby's uncle pressed the "on" button and the cremation started. It wasn't long until I noticed (and smelled) smoke. And that was it. 

Went to Rendy's house to do the fitting. Had lunch. Went to Grandpa's house to wash our limbs, face and neck with water + some flower (Indonesian thing - for cleansing purposes) and then off we went to Surabaya.

That's it. My hectic week and the sole reason to my panda-eyes and constant headache. Goodbye Grandpa... like what I said over and over on my prayers I sent your way, thank you for hubby. Until we meet again.

#Undecided

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2 comments

  1. I know this post should be a sad post but how you write is so entertaining, I giggled a few times. I think I have told you before that I love your posts.
    I faced the same condition too last year, it was my 7th year with boyfriend and it was the first time I saw him crying so hard when his pho pho died. I had to fly with him to Palembang and went through all the Panda eyes like you.
    Sometimes I think that accompanying the mourn is harder you know. *le sigh*

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    1. I know, right! I mean I didn't really know his Grandpa, but seeing all his family sad and crying, I just couldn't help myself. Btw thanks so much for reading dear, thank you thank you, I'll remember you whenever I don't feel like writing ;) And btw, I LOVE your blog too!

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