Makassar Diary Day 3 : Odang's Engagement

12:01:00 AM

Hey guys ^^.

If my previous posts of my Makassar Diary were very touristy, this post is definitely more personal. I do document pretty much everything in my life now haha, but of course-as always, you are very welcome to nose around ^^! 

It's Day 3 and finally one of the real reasons we're in Makassar in the first place : It's Odang's engagement day!
I do realize that it's his engagement day and i should probably be posting a picture of him and his (then) fiance as the first pic, but... I am the writer of this blog leh! I forever have to be in the first picture *LOLOLOL* and we didn't snap any picture with the two of them for some reasons (which i do not know *LOL*, most probably we were too busy joking around ourselves and didn't even notice them WTF, some cousins we are!).

Anyway, the picture above consists of my cousins (plus KC, CL and hunny) and i and was taken AFTER the whole engagement procession's been done. In case you do not know, Chinese engagement is totally different than Western's engagement. Instead of diamond ring, the guy gave the girl a golden (preferably with old fashioned Chinese symbol for happiness/good luck and not white but true gold, the tackier the better hehehe) and it involves the whole family. Technically the guy's family's asking the girl's family's permission for the girl's hand in marriage (oh WAIT! Actually traditionally the guy's family's asking the girl's family for the girl!!! Like we're some kind of item zzz). There are also a lot of traditions to be done with both parties' extended family.

Like Western engagement, some prefer longer engagement-but most view short ones (as short as one day before the wedding haha-like Odang's!, i too had a very short engagement) as the best options since Chinese are mostly very traditional *of course there are very modern Chinese people too, but they wouldn't even bother going through all of the rituals and steps, i guess* and have a "save face" mentality and for us (them), broken engagement is considered shameful so what's the best way to prevent one but to make the engagement as short as possible right, hehe.

Since Odang's not really living in Makassar (he is residing in Banjarmasin, my actual hometown-but i only go there very very rarely so i don't even feel any connection with the city-sadly), the starting point of the engagement was this boarding house he and his siblings were staying in.
Odang with his uncles and aunties (well, my parents and MY uncles and aunties as well hahaha)
Both of Odang's parents sadly had passed (his mom was my dad's elder sister) so he asked my parents to take their places and marry him off (mostly because my dad is the eldest brother in the family-another Chinese thing, of course-and the only sibling older than him is not very mobile anymore so it would be very inconvenient of we forced my eldest aunt to marry him off).

Those baskets wrapped in papers and ribbons are what we call sangjit/seserahan, which are the betrotal's gifts given by the groom's family to the bride consisting fashion and beauty stuffs, golden jewelries, etc.

While the elders were busy conducting the whole ritual and snapping pictures, i also had my pic snapped, by my hunny.
I'm talking about my #OOTD, of course! I opted for something feminine, girly but also airy and comfortable! Rightfully so because not only Makassar was constantly super hot during our stay there, i also ended up having to carry one of the sangjit (normally the unmarried youngsters would be carrying them but we lacked unmarried people and youngsters both since we're not in our actual city!) and it was pretty heavy!
#MOTD, not bad for something hastily applied-because i am not a morning person and it took plenty of self coaxing to try to look decent so early in the morning
Also took selfie with CL, this is obviously the sexy lips filter on Camera 360 which people seems to be hating, but i find it pretty cute! I also think i can pull off ashy hair color after seeing the result...
Then we got to abuse Odang...
LOL (yep, i forgot to change the filter hehehe sorry! KC and RD look like they were wearing lippies in this pic...)
I posted this pic on my social media and my old penpal (yes, i used to have lots of penpals all over the globe... This girl from Brazil was my best penpal and the longest running one...) commented that it's the first time she saw me smiling so happily in my pictures, wow... I guess i do post too many unsmiling pictures LOLOLOL. It's just that i hate how chubby my cheeks are when i am laughing so hard zzz.
These two always pose happily whenever i'm snapping their pics hehe
There were very very noisy doggies in the boarding house, i think those are pit bulls? Sorry, i am not a dog expert like #Undecided! Everybody's super scared of them because they are huge and black and loud hehe, but hunny was taught a lot from #Undecided and her hubby so he made friends with them very quickly. They were shaking their tails and acted like puppies in no time hehe!
After the whole photo shoot and video taping were done, we jet to the bride to be's place. In Makassar, they have these ready-to-use places for sangjit and wedding processions, which is another thing we found fascinating because there is no such thing in Surabaya/Jakarta (and i must add, Singapore). Usually we'd just do it at home or hotels. The ruko (shop houses) accommodating such services are located within one complex, very convenient!
One of KC's fave pic type, playing James Bond! Of course CL doesn't mind when the girls he poses with are his sister and cousins hehe

Then the very narcissistic Odang (never peg him as that kind of person before LOL, but then again i never opened up enough for my cousins other than L to get to know them better either before this >.<)insisted to have his photograph taken as well
And my mum, who hates leaving anyone behind (she cares too much about people's feelings hahaha) insisted on this pic that included all of us that were around already. By this time i think Odang's wife's (God, i do not remember her name >.< i'm a horrible person!!!) family were staring at us and started wondering what they got themselves into...
This is the first floor of the ruko where the ceremony would take place, there are rooms on the upper levels and the bride and groom (and their families) can stay there (depending on the type of packages they take, i believe)
It's so... Chinese
LOL. I mean, we're Chinese (by race, we are Indonesian as you know) and our family's pretty traditional, but Makassar's Chinese really take it to the next level! We'd usually be happy with just some red and gold stickers plus some red cloth to decorate our doors to show the world we're celebrating an engagement/wedding, but definitely don't have a whole set up like these!

Without having to wait too long, the ceremony began.
Like filming a sinetron, eh? LOL. I dunno why i laughed until so happy liddat zzz
After handing the sangjit (we had to line up and the sangjit were accepted by youths from the female's family one on one), our job's pretty much done so we just sat and joked around making so much noises it was embarrassing -___-. I'm pretty sure Lisa's (i'm positive that Odang's wife's name is Lisa!) family thought we were barbars... My mum had to explain that Banjamasin people are really loud, rowdy and we love to joke around hahaha
The whole ceremony's actually just evolved around the elders of the groom's family formally ask the bride's family's permission to "take" their daughter. As if the whole family doesn't know already LOLOLOL.
And then finally Lisa (who look so different with makeups on, that's what's so interesting when people don't wear makeup normally-they look stunning when they actually do!) was called down and the groom's parents (in this case my parents lah) put the necklace on her
And it's official! They are engaged! For one day! Because the next day they are married! LOL
We also snapped lots of nonsense pics so imma just post a few here :
My dad (the one with a blue long sleeved shirt) and his siblings (minus Odang's mum, of course :(... )
For some reasons, my uncle OT (RD, DD and MD's dad) got super jealous (joking la) because the siblings kept on taking pictures so he insisted for the sibling in laws to take one too hahaha. My mum became Mrs Bond because my uncle's wife didn't come (my dad only has one brother)
Then we took an extended family's pic, of course
Odang was really unhappy because he was not asked to be in the picture, then he insisted to get his picture taken nonstop.
Even when he's just handing out empty plates -____-. I dunno why hunny indulged him but i actually found pictures of Odang handing out empty plates (while posing) to all of his uncles and aunties -_____-
Even trying to feed our uncle, KM
Since all of the food provided are the typical Chinese food available on family functions, i didn't take any pictures (embarrassed as well lah, Lisa's family's already astounded by our behavior without me going on full blogger mode hahaha) but the rainbow jelly's too cute not to be snapped!
And cam-whored with :p
After the whole engagement deal was done, we... went to eat some more -____-. We seriously did nothing but eat 80% of our stay in Makassar!
Another very vintage looking place
My nutty hunny and bewildered looking KC
Went for Coto Makassar. I don't remember much, but i think it was quite nice hehe
And afterward, we had nowhere to go and CL wanted to try Nyuk Nyang OMG. LOL. Yes, three meals back to back.
We split one portion for three or more people because seriously... Cannot eat anymore lah! I'm a fussy eater, i love my meat balls and these are just okay for me. Maybe because i was seriously full already!
It was super hot though, i decided not to post the closeup picture of me becaus i looked super sweaty and yucky hahaha
Afterwards we just went to a mall, the elders (and some old soul-ed youths *AHEM MD*) went for massage while the rest shopped. I was looking for flat sandals because i only brought my sneakers and high heels, and i would probably die if i have to wear heels the whole day on the wedding day... I did found one, super cheap and pretty (full of bling)-so pretty that CW tried to buy it off me when she saw it. Zzz. LOL.

Didn't take any pictures in the mall (because. It's a mall. And not particularly pretty either *LOL*), where we stayed until late afternoon before going back to the hotel to rest. For some reasons i do not remember, we + KC and CL went to the supermarket next to our hotel and ended up having KFC. LOLOLOL. When you eat too much unfamiliar foods, you suddenly crave something familiar. But weirdly KFC didn't even taste the same there, and not in a good way...

We actually went to dinner (gosh, how many meals did we have???? Although mostly we had small portions and split portions, it's still quite crazy in total!) for... guess what... SEAFOOD LOLOLOL. We had crabs almost every single day there. I am a HUGE fan of crabs, but even i refused to even look at crabs for a bit afterwards (we ended up having crabs in Surabaya just on a very short period of the time since we went back and that really made me stopped craving it for months on end). But yeah, apparently i didn't take any pictures *most of the pictures in Makassar were taken by hunny so i should say, he didn't take any ahahaha*. Just another seafood dinner in Makassar, it was getting repetitive hahaha.

Later when we got back to our hotel, hunny and KC went to check out the top floor and found this lounge that we planned on patronizing as an "after party" the next day but was super packed that we cancelled *LOL*. I didn't come with them so i also only got to see the pictures :
Of the view from the rooftop
And one as a proof that he had been there, i guess hahahaha
The lounge, which looked quiet that night but super full by the time we wanted to come zzz *LOL*. I guess there were too little tables too...
I stayed and lazed around in my room instead. So glad that i loved our room in Aston Makassar, i actually didn't mind doing nothing but hang out in my room with hunny. Btw, did any of you wondered where Baby Boy was? This trip happened during school term and Baby Boy's school's pretty hard (sometimes i read his school books and mumbled how i learnt them in a much later school level) so skipping school for five days is not an option. He stayed in hunny's mum's place while we were in Makassar.

It was the first time that both the parents and the grandparents leave at the same time since he can understand (we did it once when he was very little, just a few months old to Jakarta to attend hunny's friend's wedding and a much needed escape for me. I know it might not seem possible if you only know me recently, but we did had a rough couple of years at the start of our marriage. Not the relationship between hunny and i, but the relationship between us and some of my siblings and also financially. So next time you want to say that we don't know what being broke/struggling is like, think again. I just don't think people need to know when we are struggling/having problems, other than my BFF hehe) so my mum's actually really stressed out and kept on wondering if he's okay (if you think i'm paranoid, then meet the original paranoid-my mom!).

While i did miss him a LOT, i actually enjoyed being with hunny and my extended family-feeling young and irresponsible again, even for just a few days. Parents need breaks too you know, and i love feeling like we're dating again once in a while-that's why i insist on having "honeymoon" or adult trips at least once a year-to keep the romance alive and do things that we cannot do with a child around (as in visiting places that aren't child friendly or do stuffs without worrying about overtiring the kid/make him sick! Nothing dirty, mind you! Get your brain outta the gutter! LOLOLOL).-if you have the opportunity and the sources (as in people you trust 100% to leave you child to-in my case my parents, obviously)... why not?

This post turned out to be a lot wordier than i originally thought it would be (hahahaha, thanks to my tendency to ramble), so i better stop now. I am battling the sleepiness caused by cold medicine (oh yeah, i'm getting them again zzzz. I need Red Pine oil ASAP, i am addicted. More info about this on my Korea trip's post, which should begin soon since i am two posts away from wrapping up my Makassar Diary, yay!) that already engulfed me since before i start writing this post (i thought it'd be impossible to blog coz i am so sleepy and drowsy, but apparently i can focus and write a long-ass post while being high too hahahah).

Toodles!

#Pink 

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2 comments

  1. We also practice Chinese engagement and the traditional rituals that go along with it. Yeah haha I'd have to agree with the girl from Brazil. I don't often see you smiling in photos. You look prettier when you do especially with your nice teeth! :) Chubby cheeks are okay! My sister has learned to love hers. :)

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    1. I imagine that all Chinese people all around the world must pretty much do very similar rituals, don't you think? I smile a lot in real life, actually i am one of those girls who cannot stop joking around and laughing like a mad person, but yes-i find it hard to smile for pictures nowadays because i hate it when people mentions that i seem to get fatter when they see my fat cheeks -___-

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