Dear Tim

8:21:00 PM

Rest assured, this isn’t a love letter. I’m a fan. But not THAT kind of fan. 

First of all, let me introduce myself. My name is Pauline. And occasionally I blog under #Undecided as a moniker. I love writing and sometimes I wish I write more than I do, but whenever I do, I feel like I’m doing something I love. It’s not just a hobby, it’s something that I love doing.

Aside from writing, I also LOVE reading. A few years ago my bff "introduced” me to Xiaxue. And I was like wtf is this, she’s awesome! And let me get this straight, I am not a fan of her blog for all her beauty related reviews. Not a girly girl. Never was, never will be. But her writings are deep – and funny – and entertaining at the same time. There’s an Indonesian writer that is up to par, his name is Indra Herlambang. Look him up if you have time.

So anyway, I began reading Xiaxue’s blog religiously – yes, I have read everything she has written to the very first post she did. Did I tell you I obsess? Well I do. And then I realized that there are other bloggers like her, so I began reading them up too. None impressed me as much as Xiaxue did. That is until I found your wife’s blog. If Xiaxue is sophisticated, Audrey is more down to earth and to me, more relatable as a human being. So again the obsession began. I haven’t finished reading her blog though because something distracted me. You. Apparently fourfeetnine’s husband also writes.

Check out my browser’s history, you’ll see there under Today, Yesterday, Last 7 days, you get the gist... Boy you can write. Okay, I admit I skip the super geeky posts (and the ones about cars), but the funny ones and the ones about your wife, I love them! Honestly, apart from Indra Herlambang, you’re the 2nd person from male population whose writing I found wildly interesting (obviously I didn’t include Dan Brown and Ken Follett in the equation!) and amusing. You’re just so witty. And your love for Audrey is inspirational.

Okay enough with all the compliments.

I guess I don’t know why I’m writing this, but I would like to acknowledge you. And acknowledge how you have inspired me to write more and do more with my life. I love how you keep saying that happiness isn’t all about money. It’s about being happy with oneself and to appreciate what we have. I also love your post about taking care of a problem like a boss. It’s an eye opener and has helped me see another approach to being a good manager. So, thank you.

And oh yeah, I also blog with my bff, we share this blog. When we started nobody in Indonesia co-write their blog, so that was why we did it, but secretly it’s because my bff is the shy type that needs someone beside her when doing something new and as for me, it’s because I need someone to constantly reminding me to write constantly (word twist to avoid saying “nag” LOL). Win win. She’s the active one, tho. I still need my constant reminding :) but reading your blog makes me want to write more. Case in point: this long-ass fan letter LOL.

Oh on 2nd thought I guess I know why I'm writing this! I want to share you with my readers. After all, good things are best shared, right? Or however it is that inspirational quote says. It’s, people. Go look him up for a feel good read anytime (how's this for pimping out your blog hehe) 

Oh funny story, Tim! We ever wrote very similar pieces years ago. Yours is this and since I wrote mine on my Facebook notes, I guess I’m copy pasting it here for you to read.

a Letter to a 15 Year Old Me.

Hi there,

I hope this letter finds you well. I’m a bit worried to tell you the truth… After all, I’m sending this from 14 years ahead of your time. Who knows what time travel might do to pieces of paper?

Anyway, if you’re reading this then I’m pretty sure you’re currently lying on your bed, listening to The Backstreet Boys. They’re great, aren’t they?! They’re the best! And yes, they are still together. They went on a hiatus a while back but they’re back doing tours and all now. (PS: you can make bets with Mindy, but limit them to 2012 because that’s where I’m at right now).

And oh yeah, you’ll be friends with Mindy for a long time. You two will have to say goodbye for a bit, but she’ll be back. Your friendship will only get stronger with time. You might not believe me now because you only started to get to know her, but you’ll see… Keep her close. You are going to need her most of the times – and saying this is an understatement. She’s going to be your matron of honor (matron is underlined for a reason, but shush, don’t tell her this). And her son will adore you. You might not believe me because I remember you don’t fancy kids but believe me that will change. Her husband will annoy you most of the times (haha), but you’ll love him too. If you want to you can also tell her that life is going to be good for her. She might need to hear it from you from time to time…

Life is pretty awesome right now, Pauline. I am not going to say too much, most likely because I don’t want you to get complacent, but life is good, it’s going to get started real soon and I need you to be ready.

Within a couple of years you’ll be super busy with school related work and stuff. And it’s not going to stop for another 6 years or so. Hang in there now. Believe me when I say that you will have the time of your life and you’ll even surprise yourself. The things that you’re about to do, my 15 year old self, not even you would think you could do. I’m writing this to prepare you, to make you see that life is not going to be the same – but you will need to push through and move forward. And you will.

Make lots of friends. Take lots of photos (you’ll need the photos, believe me). Make lots of memories. And get a bang. Like seriously. We have a forehead that is NOT meant to be viewed by the world. Lose the glasses. Contact lenses are not scary – I wear them all the time. And oh, if you can, please try to hang on to those braces. It will save you a whole lot of trips to the dentist in the future.

You’ll find love. You’ll have a good job. You’ll love writing poems and silly little articles – embrace it. People will tell you that you’re no good. You’ll be forced to face situations where things seem to work against your will. But trust me, it will only go uphill. I have – literally – been there. Learn to use to your head more (following your heart is good, but your head will save you most of the times).

If you can, learn to make peace with mother. I haven’t mastered it today, but maybe if we start early, we’ll be much further along by now and maybe it will help her during her trying times. I know it will be hard for she will make sure that it is hard for you to understand her. But like I said, maybe if we start early, we can change that… Stick around your sister. She might be super annoying now, but she’ll not only be a good sister, she’ll be a good friend as well.
Father will need you a lot. Especially in 2012. I won’t say much, but you’ll need to be there for him. Pay attention to how he takes care of you now – and memorize that. Carry that memory with you and that will make it easier for you to make your future decisions.

Things will not always be easy, Pauline. Heck even now it isn’t, but always remember that things get better. I know you don’t listen to people – and you might think I’m super annoying because I have been telling you what to do – but read this and remember me whenever things get tough and confusing. Look forward to the 14 years older you. Because if you give up now, you will never experience what I’ve experienced, and what I’ve experienced, you don’t want to miss.

Enjoy being 15! Seriously, enjoy it because time will fly. And if you enjoy it as much as I did, whenever you’ll look back, you’ll only remember the good times and it will surprise you how blurry and insignificant the bad times are.

Oh and you’ll find love! And that guy will be the best, funniest, kindest yet most ridiculously annoying guy that you’ve ever known. And there will be no warning on how fast you’ll fall for him. He won’t come soon enough though, you’ll need to make some mistakes before he will cross your path. Don’t be afraid to make those mistakes for how else will you learn to be the best version of yourself for him, right?

Hang in there, Pauline. And know that it does get better. It will.

Peace out (that’s how you sign letter off back in 1998, yes?!),
Your older version of you.

Similarities are uncanny, eh. You know what they say, great minds think alike. LOL.

Cheers mate!


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