January Movies

Hi hi!!!

I'm back with my monthly movie reviews now :D. A bit late but you know all those festivities totally stalled everything! Anyway, nothing too exciting on January (i hate to sound like a broken record, but how the hell is it February already??? In no time we'll be celebrating Christmas and New Year again WTH. I read somewhere *probably Arman's blog* where the author said "Seems like 2014 will pass even faster than 2013". I totally agree, it's so scaryyy!!!!) really *___*.. (February seems to be slightly more exciting, we just watched our first movie in February : A Lone Survivor-which was unexpectedly good, but way too gory for me. A good start, February!). Okay, let's start already!

1. Paranormal Activity : The Marked Ones

I heard quite some hype about this movie, i didn't even know that it's a spin off of Paranormal Activity at first and i was excited. My excitement plummeted when i realized what it really was (while i enjoyed the first few movies of Paranormal Activity, the latter ones started to be quite tedious...). Still, i had high hopes! Imagine how exciting 2014 movies would be (for me) if it started with a super scary horror movie, right! Sadly, it was anything but scary *LOL*.

The story evolves around Jesse, a Mexican-American teen recently graduated from high school, who after the death of his neighbor started to experience disturbing and unexplainable things while he and his friends investigated the murder (that pointed out his high school friend as the culprit).  It was all fun and merry at first, he even thought he gained a super power somehow but gradually he discovered he was marked for possession by a demonic power and he was selected as one of many by the cult (from the Paranormal Activity movies before) to be part of the army of darkness.

It was pretty good at first, i find it refreshing and funny even. It has more storyline to follow and it was faster than the earlier movies. Instead of CCTV-styled, they actually used the hand-held home movie style, which is shaky at times but not super bad (nothing puke-inducing like Blair Witch Project...), but when they get into the supposedly scary part, it started to be very boring and predictable. Maybe i am not into the whole cult, witch-stuffs, but it was kinda silly. I especially hated the super confusing ending @___@. If you're a huge horror movie addict on a withdrawal, well... you can watch it but don't expect too much. Other than that, you can skip it and won't miss anything.

2. Tarzan

OMG. This is like... The WORST animation movie. EVER. I do not understand the purpose of making this movie zzz. I watched the trailer and thought it'd be pretty fun to bring Baby Boy to watch it *the graphic looked quite amazing on the trailer, but apparently that's about it. The only good thing out of this movie : the graphic*. Read the first review on IMDb (i linked every movie's IMDb on the titles), it's hilarious but it's true. I also do not understand why Disney would allow someone to re-make Tarzan, and turned it into something so horrible! It's barely watchable...

The story started innocently enough, following little Tarzan *before he was Tarzan* journey to the deep jungle with his parents (his dad was obsessed with this meteor or something WTH) when tragedy struck and his parents died on a plane crash. Of course, then Tarzan was rescued by the gorilla and lived with the pack. One day he met Jane (and fell in love, obvi), who was the daughter of Tarzan's dad's colleague and they had to fight off the evil CEO of Greystoke Energies (the man who took over the company after Tarzan's dad's death) who tried to destroy Tarzan's jungle for the same meteor his dad lost his life searching for.

Oh God, this movie sucks. BIG time. I had hard time concentrating and hunny actually fell asleep for a few minutes, it was THAT bad. Animation movies are supposed to be fun, funny, exciting, crazy and out-of-this-worldly. This movie was anything but that (well, maybe the last part. But even that not in a good way). First of all, they tried to mess up (maybe shake things up, add a twist) the storyline by adding the whole crazy meteor thingy. Second of all, they tried to be all grown up and serious, which only translated into BORING. And third : they couldn't cast worst actors as the voice overs. Seriously, i love Kellan Lutz (i love everybody from Twilight) but he was SO SO SO BAD. There was a serious dis-attachment of the voice and the animation, which only added to the whole insult of a movie. 

Thankfully Baby Boy didn't get too bored (or maybe he was but he was too scared to show it because we just scolded him for various reasons and he bawled his little eyes out just before the movie), especially around the monsters scenes. Yes, there are monsters in this Tarzan movie. Run for your life, people!!!

3. Police Story 2013

I had low expectations for this movie, i remember i didn't enjoy the last movie that much and i didn't even watch the movies before (first movie was out when i was 2 years old apparently WTH, i don't watch old movies). I dreaded it even more after KC and CL told us they fell asleep while watching this *LOL*. But actually it was not that bad at all, or maybe my standard was set so low after the horrible Tarzan movie...

Veteran policeman (Jackie Chan, obvi) was invited by his estranged daughter to a hip new club in purpose of introducing him to her much-older-boyfriend, who turned out to be some crazy dude who took them *and a handful other people* as hostages in exchange for a meeting with a prisoner. The reason behind the bad guy's crazy plan slowly revealed in the movie, while the policeman scrambled trying to save everybody (including the criminal, it was bordering on insanity).

If you're looking for the usual Jackie Chan comedic-action formula, you're looking at a wrong movie. This is more of a drama-action, it's a bit slow, with simple (but interesting) storyline. KC and CL said it was confusing with all of the flashbacks, but hunny and i found it to be very simple and straightforward, i don't understand what's there to be confused about *LOL*. As most Chinese movies, there are absurd scenes and the reason behind everything was kinda cheesy and ridiculous. Also, i doubt there's any real policeman who behaves like Jackie's character in this movie, a policeman who dares to sacrifice his life to save a bad bad criminal? I don't think so.

Oh, also it's nothing like the earlier Police Story movies (which were faster paced, more action oriented-borderline comic book-style with thick comedic taste, this one's darker and maturer) and i was shocked they killed off his wife's character (played by Charlie Yeung in the last movie) They were just getting married in 2004 and suddenly they have an adult daughter in 11 years later and Charlie Yeung was replaced by an old aunty (who passed away) but after reading the wiki i realized that this movie was a stand-alone movie that's got nothing to do with the other movies? I guess Jackie's playing a totally different man than in the earlier movies then? God, i'm confused. The more i read the wiki, the more confused i become.

Still, it was not 111 minutes wasted in my opinion, especially if you're a fan of classic Hong Kong detective movies (i am not, but i still enjoyed it). Just don't think of it as a part of the Police Story franchise, treat it as solitary movie, and don't think too much. It was okay.

4. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

One of the best movie i've watched on January! Thank God i insisted on watching it even though it was kinda old and not doing so well in Surabaya (you can tell if a movie's not doing so well if they push it to the smaller studio and even showing it only half a day, sometimes they make two movies share a studio. In this case the movie disappeared in most cinemas after only a week or so)!

Walter Mitty is a day-dreamer who often blanked out and escaped to his daydreams-filled with action, adventure and romance-while his real life is very steady and boring. When his and his co-workers jobs are threatened (they are working in Life magazine which is turning into a .com), he embarked on a (real) global journey crazier than he can ever imagine.

This movie was funny (in a smart way, not in the HAHAHA way, oh well there were a few HAHAHA moments too), smart and touching. I enjoyed watching Ben Stiller's acting (i didn't know he can do subtle comedy even better than his crazier comedic roles) and his character's journey in finding his inner courage and voice. It was a beautiful movie shot in the most breath-taking sceneries and i left with my face drenched with tears. I didn't know Ben Stiller can look cool if he wanted to. It's definitely a feel-good movie and i'd very highly recommending it :).

5. Devil's Due

Two horror movies in one month? What is this, my birthday or something??? I was excited *i am always excited for horror movies WTF* but well, if it's my birthday i expect something of a better quality. This one's so-so, not scary like, at all. I actually think it's a bit more interesting than The Marked Ones as it was refreshing (somehow. I know the concept of having a demonic baby's not fresh, but maybe it hasn't been brought up in movies for a while so i feel like it's not too jaded).

A happy newlywed  couple went on a fun honeymoon and discovered soon that they were expecting. The excited husband had been video-taping their entire journey (start from the wedding itself) and began seeing his wife's rapidly increasing oddness. The pregancy seems to be very problematic and his wife seems to be a completely changed person that he no longer recognize, and even fear. 

I think it started off pretty well, the casts were believable (one of the reviewers in IMDb said that the acting was horrible, i didn't see it that way but then again i have no credibility when it comes to judge acting *LOL*) and relateable. Storyline was very simple, but not boring (in my humble opinion, don't be pissed if you think otherwise). This one's also shot in those hand-held camera style (yeah, i'm getting sick of them *___*) and while the initial plot seemed to be quite sinister and interesting, there was not a single scary scene for me *LOL*. It ended up being kinda flat and downhill from the interesting start. I'm over the whole cult crap, especially if it's not scary like this. Another skip-able horror movie. 

6. Jack Ryan : Shadow Recruit

Another one (if not the) most exciting movie i've seen this month. It was nothing too spectacular, but it was entertaining, gripping, and most importantly : starred by a very drool-worthy Chris Pine. As i told #Undecided "BB, Chris Pine is so fine." LOL!!!

Chris Pine. I'm not a fan of facial hairs, but he managed to make even facial hairs look sexy

Jack Ryan was an ex marine who had to go through hell as the chopper he was in got shot down and ended up in him suffering severe injuries, it was during his rehab he caught the eye of Harper (Kevin Costner, it's nice to see him in cool roles again! It's been a while) *as well as his future girlfriend played by Keira Knightley (not a fan, they could've cast someone more likeable :p)* who works at the CIA and recruited him as a special analyst who leads a double (full life) as a Wallstreet agent to keep an eye for potential terrorist. One day he found anomalies in an account of a Russian called Cheverin and things began to unravel when Cheverin's guy tried to kill him as soon as Jack arrived in Russia to check on the account further.

As one of the reviewer put it (it's clear that i check out reviews in IMDb as i write my reviews but i never let them influence my own review, don't worry) : it offers nothing new but it's still entertaining. So true! It's probably not like, a must watch or whatever, but if you're looking for an entertaining, action-packed movie to spend your time, i'd recommend you to check this out. And seeing Chris' baby blue eyes and adorable face? Which girl would say no to that?

7. The Wolf of Wall Street 

I actually wasn't really interested in this movie but #Undecided went gaga over it, mainly because it starred her forever crush, Leonardo Dicaprio (not my cup of tea, never had been). We went to watch it (#Undecided's treat, she got a bombastic bonus! Go on, make her do a Give Away or something to celebrate) with the hubbies-i enjoyed it a lot more than i thought i would (it's hilarious in the stupidest kind of way. I seriously didn't expect Leo to do those crazy body-gags so whole-heartedly! He totally deserved that Golden Globe. And the stupid lines, oh... the lines...).

My only problem was i kept on being distracted by the visibly getting-sleepier-by-the-minute hunny and #Undecided's hubby's restlessness. It's one movie where you need to SKIP the stupid translation (nothing was correct and they made every line anything but funny) and LISTEN to the dialogs. #Undecided and i kept on laughing like a pair of asylum escapee to a silent cinema. Embarrassing. Btw, i only realized that this movie's based on a true story while reading the IMDb WTF, i'm so bad!

This movie is about the life of Jordan Belfort, from his humble beginning, his rise to a crazily wealthy stockbroker with even crazier high life (full of money, women and drugs) to his fall involving crime, corruption and the federal government.

One word to describe this movie : Crazy. Not in a bad way though! It's a crazy 3 hours roller coaster ride, a glimpse into the crazy life of super wealthy people, a way to give you a cramped tummy from too much laughter. But it's either you GET it or NOT. There's no middle ground really, you'd love it or hate it. I kinda loved it. There was not a single second left to be bored (for me!). #Undecided loved it too, but i think a lot of people doesn't get it. Plenty got lost in translation.

PS : This is strictly 21 and above (full of curses, sex, and drugs!), i was horrified when i saw the couple in front of us bringing their young (probably around 10) daughter with them WTF. Oh, and it's better to watch it on DVD if you're living in Indonesia, they whacked off a good portion of the movie that contained nudity, it was distracting seeing the scenes jump from one to another like that!

8. The Legend of Hercules

 

Okay, so maybe i shouldn't even attempt to do reviews since my taste kinda sucks. Everybody seems to hate this movie, yet.. I kinda like it! Oh yeah, this is my blog so i can write whatever i want *LOL*.

Origin story of Hercules, betrayed (never been loved and always been suspected as a fruit of his wife's adultery with some other guy, but in this case rightfully so really *LOL*) by his stepfather, the mean and greedy King, he was sent to his death (due to forbidden love, as he was in love with the Princess bethroted to the heir, his big *step* brother) but survived, sold as a slave and had to fight his way back to his rightful kingdom.

I had my doubts, especially seeing Kellan Lutz as the lead. It seemed kinda... Wrong. Maybe because i have this image of Hercules (okay, Kevin Sorbo. Because i watched him as Hercules for years and years. So i always thought of Hercules as almost middle aged and not handsome :p) and Kellan doesn't fit *LOL*. Don't get me wrong, i love Kellan (refer to Tarzan review above), i just have a huge doubt of him as a lead actor. He was not actually that amazing in Java Heat! I do think his strongest role is being a bratty, muscular teenager/young adults with a naughty smile. You know, like Emmet (he totally was perfect as Emmet).

But i think he was okay as Hercules, especially on the action-scenes, he was solid (he's way too huge though, i couldn't keep my eyes off his, errr.. boobies. Kinda looks like he needs a bra. LOLOLOL. His boobies are like, thrice mine WTF) but the love-scenes? *cringe* *shudder* *goosebumps-not in a good way*. He needs to skip love scenes/drama/anything that requires serious acting than looking tough (oh, i feel bad writing this since i really like him!), leave that to Robert Pattinson please. Oh, and is it just me but i was really disturbed by the lead female's (Gaia Weiss) overbite...

Anyway, it was pretty entertaining for me! I wasn't bored and quite gripped on my seat during the fighting scenes, and i rooted for Hercules (if i hate the movie i wouldn't root for anyone right)! I think it was the typical Greek-God mythology in the storyline department (so nothing new), and i agree it can be quite comic-bookish (think Thor, but nothing as good as Thor obvi) but i still like it! Oh, and there's one eye candy that caught my eyes (seriously, i like big guys, my ultimate crush is Kim Jong Kook after all. But there's such thing as TOO BIG in my book. And Kellan is definitely too big *LOL*), the guys playing Sotiris.

Liam McIntyre. Cute, isn't he? Hey, two bearded guys in one entry. Am i growing up or what? At least when it comes to my taste in men hahaha

In short, if you like mythological, fantasy movie you should see this. But remember, it's MY opinion. Lots of others seems to disagree, so please do not be angry at me if you ended up hating it!

That's all for now! Which movies from the list above you've watched? Did you like them?

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