Hey world...
This post was written a few months ago *LOL*, it just got pushed back because i have more pressing posts, but it's been so long since the last heart-to-heart post, i think it's about time. Get ready for some hardcore bitching sesh :p!
This post was written a few months ago *LOL*, it just got pushed back because i have more pressing posts, but it's been so long since the last heart-to-heart post, i think it's about time. Get ready for some hardcore bitching sesh :p!
Still blogging from my Ipad *grumpy*, haven't gotten my PC back yet. I swear if he does not return my PC and solve all the problems by tomorrow... Yeah, i am also PMS ing big time. You can probably tell -___-. Anyway, since i am in a hoarding mode for posts, i cannot pass the mood or i would have no posts ready when laziness struck zzz. Blogging from the blogger app on tablets' a total pain in the ass pictures wise because i cannot change the size of the photos or put captions, i decided i'd blog about stuffs that require very minimal photos and which i do not need to captions the pictures (like say, a travel post which i mostly tell the story on the captions)-which means one type of blog post : rant.
LOL. I haven't done a heart to heart in a while yeah, i've been meaning to blog about this for a long time though-but not only doing a heart to heart post needs the right mood (like, very diligent mood and when i am not too pissed with the subject anymore because i do not want to fill the entire post with only expletives hahaha), you know i got busy with other, more fun posts :p.
I want to talk about girls today. By girls i mean females at any age (because i think every woman would always be a girl inside! You know, keeping your heart young and innocent ^^) haha.
I guess we all know that it's a common knowledge that female friendship's considered a lot FAKER, insincere and fragile compared to, you know-brotherhood? In a way i think it's true. Most girls (me included) would pretend to be happy to see other girls that she knows, even if she secretly want to stab those said girls with a fork *LOL*, we'd try to be super polite and friendly though it burns us inside. While guys would just not even acknowledge someone they really hate and walk the other way, right? So fake... That's kinda true.
What about insincere? Well, we pretend to be happy for other girls when they achieve something that we're dying to achieve ourselves-heck, we even praise them to heaven, saying how much they deserve it (little voice inside our heads "BITCH! It should've been me!!! I'm sooo much better in every way, you cow!!!" LOL) while guys would slap the other guy hard on the back, tell him what a lucky bastard they are and that it should've been them instead, laughed together and go to celebrate the other guy's achievement. Insincere? Sureee....
What about fragile? Well, most of us are drama queens, and we take most things to heart-but when we got angry, we keep it inside our hearts and put on a happy face-until we explode. If we explode, we're probably ended up sworn enemy with the other girl, or even if we then pretend the exploding never happens and stay polite (see the fake part i wrote earlier!) with each other, we'll never go back to the way we were. Guys? When they got mad about something, they might take it to the next level and punch each other in the face-then laugh about it within a few days and become bros again. So fragile, definitely.
While i have the bestest BFFs in the world who's been through ups and downs for roughly 18 years (and counting) with me, who know me inside and out, all the ugly things deep inside my soul and STILL love me anyway-i've also known other girls who used to be my friends and then ended up being sort of enemies, a bunch of them actually *LOL*. Let's say that i experienced things that makes me realize that i do not need a truckload of fake friends to be happy, i only need my BFFs. They're like sisters to me, except that i can be my true self in front of them instead of a carefully concealed in many ways like i have to with the real one :p.
So i actually became super careful in making new friends ever since (it happened during my high school day, so... A thousand years ago LOLOLOL) and prefer to be polite but keeping my distance with anyone new. But of course, i still witness the whole masquerade thing around me, especially when it involves L *LOLOLOL*, she's the best in pretending to like others when she actually can't stand their guts-am i right, cousin?
After years of keeping most new people off and be happy in the little circle that i made around myself (i also have a circle of close friends in University, consisting of my then boyfriend *now husband la*, O, MM, and some other friends and stick with them at all time), i became clueless when it comes to other, unknown girls and the dynamics of other friendships other than the one i share with my BFFs and other close friends (like LL and Av. Yep, you've definitely seen all of my close friends in this blog! Very limited indeed *LOL*).
While we're definitely guilty of gossiping and passing juicy news to each other, we never actively dig out news, gossip, secrets or anything about other people-we just don't care *LOL*. If we gossip about you then it's about something that's widely known *coz we also don't really gossip to other girls we're not close to, busybodies we surely aren't* and if you achieve something great, trust me when i say we'd never talk badly and bash you in private. Again, we just don't care *LOL*, and we are actually girls that CAN be happy about others' achievements.
While we're definitely guilty of gossiping and passing juicy news to each other, we never actively dig out news, gossip, secrets or anything about other people-we just don't care *LOL*. If we gossip about you then it's about something that's widely known *coz we also don't really gossip to other girls we're not close to, busybodies we surely aren't* and if you achieve something great, trust me when i say we'd never talk badly and bash you in private. Again, we just don't care *LOL*, and we are actually girls that CAN be happy about others' achievements.
What really prompted me to write this post is something that someone that i know said about me, behind my back. While we all talk about other behind their backs, good or bad, you should know better than talking badly about someone to that person's BFF/close friend/family. Are you effing stupid? It'll come back to them, trust me. Next time you need to talk about someone other than saying good things about them, make sure that you're doing it to your BFF and that your BFF is not that closely connected to the said person *LOL*. This is a good advise!
While what that (let's call her Rose *LOLOLOLOL*, sorry it's a local joke, usually when we want to make a funny story with a innocent, village girl as the victim we'll call her "Mawar", which is rose in Indonesian) girl, Rose *muffling laughter again* said was probably not even mean-or she didn't mean to be mean, but i am pretty sensitive about certain things and i am definitely unhappy about it.
Rose asked this other girl (who then tell me, but i don't think she even realized that i was offended. This other girl is very happy-go-lucky and never take things personally, total opposite of me i guess haha) what is it that i am busy with now? (answer : being a blogger) She also mentioned the fashion show i took part with for Clinique's event, and she used these words "OMG, but she's confident ya??? To do a fashion show????" (okay lah, it's not verbatim, i probably exaggerate, but that's the point)
Basically saying that i WASN'T ASHAMED to do it. WTF BITCH???????? LOL, sorry sorry, i seriously cannot imagine stumbling into her and not getting angry again zzzz. FYI, i met Rose probably twice, i never even remembered her name before and she certainly never come up in conversations except if our mutual friend bring her up-which is VERY rare. I definitely do not consider her a friend, just an acquintance, if that.
Basically saying that i WASN'T ASHAMED to do it. WTF BITCH???????? LOL, sorry sorry, i seriously cannot imagine stumbling into her and not getting angry again zzzz. FYI, i met Rose probably twice, i never even remembered her name before and she certainly never come up in conversations except if our mutual friend bring her up-which is VERY rare. I definitely do not consider her a friend, just an acquintance, if that.
My question is.... WHAT IS IT THAT I SHOULD NOT BE CONFIDENT ABOUT? Since i know those bitches (sorry sorry, i can't help it) are super concerned about their looks and all, i'm pretty sure she's talking about my weight. Well, i'm sorry that i am not tall and skinny like you are, but at least i am cute and people would probably think that i am your daughter if we go out together coz you look like an old hag. Sweet Jesus, i'm burning whenever i think about this again LOLOLOL.
FYI bitch, if you're reading this, i did nothing to be ashamed of. I was ASKED to do it, as a blogger (while you probably can't even write a sentence that doesn't show the world how effing stupid you are), and i am PROUD to take part, you might think that i am fat and should be ashamed to even think about walking on a fashion show, but i think YOU should be ashamed of being YOU! Someone who even dare to talk about what someone else does that is not negative and turn it to be one. I wonder, what makes her even make that kind of comment? Because they should not ask someone like me but ask her instead? PFTTTTT, i'm choking on my own laughter here.
I've mentioned this many times, i am essentially a very shy person inside *so deep inside that you can't probably tell now hahaha*-despite my flashy nature, i actually hate the limelight and want to cry whenever i have to stand on a stage. I refused wholeheartedly when i was first asked if i wanted to do the fashion show, but when my sweet friends kept on encouraging me and telling me of course i can do it, i decided to do something outside my comfort zone-and stop being a baby-for once.
I was shaking the whole time i was walking and i couldn't control my expression, my mind went blank and i was very thankful i didn't trip. It was not something easy to do, but i am proud to say that i dared to challenge myself. So it hurts extra bad when i heard that people (well, someone. But this makes me wonder if there are others who think the same way) are incredulous, not because i was brave, but because i was "CONFIDENT" to even do it. Like i'm some shameless, delusional person who do things without looking at herself in the mirror.
I was shaking the whole time i was walking and i couldn't control my expression, my mind went blank and i was very thankful i didn't trip. It was not something easy to do, but i am proud to say that i dared to challenge myself. So it hurts extra bad when i heard that people (well, someone. But this makes me wonder if there are others who think the same way) are incredulous, not because i was brave, but because i was "CONFIDENT" to even do it. Like i'm some shameless, delusional person who do things without looking at herself in the mirror.
And i also realize, that it's something COMMON. That girls often, nonchalantly, make that kind of remarks. OMG, she's so confident to wear that!!! Meaning : WTF, so fat but still not ashamed to wear something so tight. OMG, she's so confident to wear such a bright lipstick!!!! Meaning : WTF, doesn't she realize how ugly she is? That red lips makes her lips looks like a monkey's bottom. And so on. Sounds familiar? Don't deny it, i heard that plenty :D.
Why are girls like this? Of course, i am not saying all girls are like this, i am also a girl, and so are my BFFs and close friends, and i can assure you that we don't do stuffs like this. We're no saints, it's not like we never make fun of others, but it's probably about each other and people on the street. Nothing ill meaning. What i am saying is, i don't understand why anyone would start a conversation about someone they barely know, and then make unkind remarks that degrade them. Does that make them feel better about themselves? Does that make them happy? Why the need to bring others down to be happy though? I truly cannot understand that.
This kind of stuffs makes me question myself, am i supposed to be ashamed? Am i really that fat? Am i ugly? And that coming from someone who's essentially a stranger. Now imagine if she is my friend, how much more damage she could do to me if i let her? Then i snapped out of it and remember, i am no longer that scaredy, timid, eager-to-please 16 years old, who's willing to do anything and say anything so that people would like me.
I am #Pink, a CONFIDENT, successful woman who has everything she could ever imagine (and more). Who has the BEST husband in the world, who thinks she is the most beautiful girl in the world, so much that he can't even remember other girls' name (sorry Shasha, he still cannot remember you no matter how many times i mentioned your name >.< *LOL*). Who has a beautiful little boy who she loves so much her heart could burst. Who has the best BFFs in the world, that they would rip that bitch apart if she ever say those words in front of them. Who's so happy, so content, so loved, so lucky, so blessed, that i do not need to talk bad about others to make me feel good about myself. I love myself, and you should probably start to learn to do so instead of busily stalking other people to just talk shit about them.
I am #Pink, a CONFIDENT, successful woman who has everything she could ever imagine (and more). Who has the BEST husband in the world, who thinks she is the most beautiful girl in the world, so much that he can't even remember other girls' name (sorry Shasha, he still cannot remember you no matter how many times i mentioned your name >.< *LOL*). Who has a beautiful little boy who she loves so much her heart could burst. Who has the best BFFs in the world, that they would rip that bitch apart if she ever say those words in front of them. Who's so happy, so content, so loved, so lucky, so blessed, that i do not need to talk bad about others to make me feel good about myself. I love myself, and you should probably start to learn to do so instead of busily stalking other people to just talk shit about them.
So yeah, this is just one example of why i would never be friends with some girls. Why would i? I would never connect with them and i also won't lower myself to their level just to be able to have a conversation with them. I honestly have a lot of other examples of girls that i would never want to be friends with *LOL*, but writing about one is already makes me feel so emotional, i think i better stop now.
If you're ever in my position, remember this, you can never make everybody like you (or not talk shit about you *LOL*) and that's okay. There are a lot of girls like this Rose and you should not beat yourselves because of them. It's okay to have just small numbers of friends rather than have tonnes of fake friends. If you have real BFFs like i do (i am lucky to have more than one!), then know that you're incredibly lucky coz not every girls have that privilegde. Some never does because... Who'd want to be a crazy bitch's BFF? LOL.
Thank you for reading, and i hope this post can help anyone who's ever been treated like this by other bitches-screw them, i'd say! Share with me your bitch story, and maybe i can hunt that bitch down for you and give her a slap *LOL*.
#Pink
- 9:04:00 PM
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