Pink and Undecided

Hi everybody, look who’s back!!

Gotta hand it to me for finding the most narcissistic opening, right… LOL.

So… ICYMI, I got preggers, got lazier than usual (to write among other things), gotten into labor (very dramatic one no less – had to go into emergency c-sect without any mental preparation FML), blessed with a very healthy 50cm 3kg baby girl which led me to today: writing about motherhood from the simple mind of an #Undecided.

Okay I still got it. LOL.

So, I’m opening my monologue by reminding you saying that I love my daughter. In love. Smitten. Weak in the knee sort of thing that I never knew I could feel for a helpless wriggly little baby. But she’s so darn adorable, my heart can’t take it! 

Please remember this as you read along.



But then I got pregnant. LOL. Life shocks you like that sometimes...

I’m saying all of this to show you that I was that kind of person, you know… the person that society frowns upon. The reality is I’m not alone. There are LOADS of other women out there exactly like me. That – when reading this – will nod and somehow relieved that she isn’t the only one. Well let me tell you this: there’s NOTHING wrong with feeling the way I felt. To each their own. And if your family or friends or peers don’t understand – I do. Screw all the judgmental remarks, the snide quips, the blatantly rude comments people (*cough* self righteous moms *cough*) throw our ways. And why is that? 

Toodles,

Mama #Undecided

PS: follow me on Instagram (I'm @paulinenugraha) for more pictures of #ZoeK

Hello everybody. #Undecided here. And no I’m not dead yet. Although if it were up to #Pink, the story would be a different one, LOL. I’m terribly ill, though. I’m half-deaf in one ear, my nose is severely blocked, I’m breathing through my mouth, and I’m not sure if I’m imagining it or not (due to my medication), but I think I’m seeing dead people. No, that was a (lame) joke hehehe :p I’m ill, bear with me!!!!

Anyway, somebody stop me before I continue mumbling incoherent words, please!

So yesterday we went to see #Pink’s cousin L whom just gave birth to a baby boy. His name is quite cool: Etienne Delson Winardi (yes, this is the problem with kids’ names these days. Cool first and middle names, sucky surnames LOL). Here’s our pic with the Etienne:

The photo above i took myself with my own camera, Etienne was three days old in that picture, here's two pictures taken from his parents' Blackberry when he was just born :

Awwww, isn’t he cute?? I LOVE LOVE LOVE babies :D. Seeing a super cute newborn babies make me want a (new) baby on my own, especially now that my Baby Boy is no longer a baby :p (although he will always be my baby *soppy*). Speaking of which, this is the main point of this entry. For those of you who are already married would be familiar with the same questions that we constantly face (for those of you who aren’t, beware! Your turn will come! As soon as you tie the knot, that is!).

If you are a newlywed like #Undecided, people will constantly ask you “Are you pregnant yet?”. That’s for sure. And if you’ve been married for some time like, and you already have a son/daughter, the question would be “when is your son/daughter going to have a sibling???”. And I believe for both questions there will be a following question if your answer is negative “why??? What are you waiting for???”. And therefore we are a writing this entry to mainly answer openly those questions mentioned *LOL*. Beware that we are being very candid and honest, these are all our personal opinions and feelings, please do not judge us (oh who am I kidding, people will always judge, but who cares? Certainly not us!).

So true. I hate that. Especially if people start giving me a lecture of how old I am right now. I should start having kids now because I’m old. People, I’m not even 30. I’m not THAT old!! Besides, lots of people in The States give birth when they’re 40 something. It is NOT a big deal. Deal with it. Just because you’re mature enough by the age of 22 to have 10 kids, doesn’t mean that I am. (Sorry people, I’m ill, I rant when I’m ill, bear with me, please).

To be brutally honest, I’m not even sure if I want a kid (a kid, singular, one, just one). I have lots of doubts not because I don’t like kids, I do. I am proud to say that I’m such a good aunt to Baby Boy. But having one on my own is a whole other story. Thing is: I’m not sure if I am selfless enough to be responsible to another human being. I’m not sure if I’m selfless enough to share hubby. I’m not sure if I’m selfless enough to sacrifice my me time for the baby.

One more thing: (a confession) I don’t even know how to hold a baby. Seriously. 

As for me? Same answer actually. Sure, I LOVE looking at cute babies, yes I want one, and I want a baby girl very badly but for a very selfish reason. I am dying to have a personal, live Barbie-doll. I want to dress her up to the nines with tutus and princessy clothes 24/7. But like #Undecided, I am a very selfish person. I love my life too much. I love my life right now, Baby Boy has just graduated from toddlerhood and it’s such a relief :p. I want to travel the world. I want to go on a hundred more honeymoons with my hunny. And I’m also afraid I won’t be able to be fair if I have another kid. I love my Baby Boy so much I am afraid that I would not be able to love another baby as much as I love him. Plus, Baby Boy was such an easy and unfussy baby, what if my next baby is like a baby from hell who does nothing but scream and throw tantrums (to balance out Baby Boy’s blissful babyhood)? Okay,self-righteous mums probably already fuming reading this LOL, sorry ah not everybody can be a super mom and I admit that I’m definitely not one.

One more thing that is a huge problem for me, I do not want to be pregnant (again). I am afraid that I will balloon up even more. I already am not as skinny as I used to be (but my size is the same as my pre-pregnancy figure though) and really, as selfish as it sounds, I am really really afraid that my second (actually third, but I’m not ready to elaborate, maybe in the future) pregnancy will make me even bigger and I won’t be able to bounce back to my present size. Yes yes, judge me all you want. I don’t care. Oh oh! And the delivery process.. and the healing… haih… I’ve been through all that and I never for a second regret it because I got to bring home Baby Boy in the end, but I’d be lying to your face if I say I am looking forward to go through all of that again. I am mentally and physically not (will I ever???) ready right now (if ever).

So all in all, will you ever see an #Undecided baby? Well, if it’s in my cards, then so be it. If the deity thinks that I am prepared to be a mother, then who am I to say no? It’s not like I’m being preventive about it (FYI, I hate condoms. I’m latex intolerant. TMI? Oopsie. LOL.) So from now on if people ask me about when I’m going to have a baby, I will give them the link to this entry. And pray to God that they speak English. LOL.

And how about #Pink’s baby number 2? Hm… probably. But you won’t get to see him/her for at least two more years. I keep on telling everybody that my (and hunny’s) Chinese Zodiac’s the most compatible with Goat, which is the year 2015, but let me tell you a secret, that’s just a ruse to shut them all up. If it’s up to me then I am content with my Baby Boy. My hunny (and my mum, and damn #Undecided) keeps on asking for baby number 2 though, so we’ll see. Maybe I have to give in *sobs hysterically*, If only surrogacy is easy and common in Indonesia *grin*. But I’m not promising anything, you’ll have to wait and see HOHOHO.

So there you have it, our honest-to-God from no edited answers to those two annoying annoying questions. LOL. Seriously, we’re 100% sure lots of y’all who are married can relate. C’mon, just be honest here, those two question’s so annoying, right? Next step would probably be questioning “when are you going to have a grand kid?” And maybe they should throw in the ultimate question “when are you going to die?” that’s my personal fave question I’m dying to ask certain people *mean* kidding kidding (or am i?).

 

On a lighter note, we just had a makeover last night (yes, I watch too much America’s Next Top Model LOL). We I did. I had my hair colored and cut short. And I prefer it short. It’s lighter, literally LOL.

As for me, I’m still in love with my long hair, I asked Ndaru to hack off 7 cm off my hair though *but it’s still quite long* and make the sides short and puffy *my fave style, I call it the squid* and also my roots retouched of course. Hunny, Baby Boy and #Undecided’s hubby all had their hair cuts as well, Chinese New year’s next week you see, as Chinese we believe (or actually we’re told so by our parents *LOL*) that before CNY we should get a little hair cut to get rid of all bad luck and evilness :D. I am big on traditions since my mum’s so old fashioned, especially traditions that requires us to get prettier and make us wear new clothes and stuffs, what’s not to love? *LOL*. #Undecided’s little sister also joined us to get rid of her “mbak2” look MUAHAHAHHAAHHA.

As we mentioned on earlier posts, Ndaru does house calls and most of the time (like yesterday) we do it in my place so all of the pictures you see here were taken at my living room.

We always have so much fun whenever we’re having our “makeover” session, especially because Ndaru’s every bit as nutz as both of us, and we would laugh and gossip (oh, we have such a juicy juicy gossip regarding one of Indonesia’s most popular beauty blogger! LOLOL. One hint, she made a horrible horrible down right defamation on Shinjuku hair salon in one of her blog entry) non stop, I normally hate doing my hair because hair salons bore the hell out me but doing it at home with your friends are super fun!

I kept on taking pictures and whenever Ndaru looked at me in amusement I would declare “blogger… blogger! Must take pictures” and he’d reply “Hair dresser!” LOL. He’s sooo annoying. Found a weak spot though, I unknowingly hit him on his arm, on which he just had his tattoo renewed and added, and he was in so much pain afterward, sorry Ndaru! I didn’t know! But at least then he couldn’t be too mean to us because we’d continue to threaten to hit his “injured” arm MUAHAHAHHAHAHA.

And today’s a lazy Sunday for us.. We went to Gm together but mainly I just brought Baby Boy to a toy store and then drop him off at the arcade with his nanny while me and hubby want to have dinner at Dome Café (I had a craving for steak) and soon #Undecided and hubby joined us (#Undecided ended up treating us to celebrate her getting a raise, thank you #Undecided! My turn next next week!) and we just stayed there until closing time LOL. We finally booked and finalized our Taiwan trip tickets, I cannot believe it, it’s really happening!!! Yay!!! Booking was a real pain in the ass because Dome Café’s wifi’s as slow as a snail zzzz… and then we wrote this entry, so we technically spent the whole time at the Café, but what’s important is we get everything done! Yay!

How's your weekend? Hope you had as much fun as we did!